Publications... Weekly E-Devotional
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Grief – The Price We Pay for Loving
John Morley, the English statesman, in an address made in Edinburgh in 1887,
said: “The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to
depart.” It is the ‘do without’ part of life which creates extreme grief
in our lives. So many of you have lost loved ones recently, or a while
ago, and the grief is still so very present in your life. You have lost
someone you love and, yet, you don’t want to lose heart. You want to make
the most of what you have left.
It’s a sober subject, to be sure. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “Never
morning wore to evening, but some heart did break.” So, in looking for
light in the presence of darkness, we remember the words of our Lord Jesus; In
this world you will have tribulation; but be of good courage, I have overcome
the world” (John 16: 33). In my work, I speak with people all the
time who are grieving over loss of some kind. We must remember that grief
comes not just when we lose someone we love. The question becomes, does
God’s word have any word for us on this subject? Let me offer two passages
of scripture I use regularly when speaking with people about this. The
first is Romans 8: 31 – 39 and the second is John 16: 29 -33.
I just want to offer a couple of observations on this subject. First,
grief is an equal opportunity employer. There are lots of forms of grief –
divorce, job loss, threat of job loss, amputation, young people leaving home
(we’re dealing with this one), failure, imprisonment, retirement and the list is
endless. We typically see grief through a very narrow lens, but it is wide
spread. Secondly, we need to try to understand the nature of the grief
experience. Dr. Wayne Oates has suggested that grief has the following
components: Shock, Numbness, Belief and Disbelief, Acceptance of reality and
depression, Selective Memory, and Recovery. Grief has lots of faces and lots of
stages – if you are grieving think about what stage you are in now. Finally,
look for practical ways to deal with your grief – the worst thing you can do is
nothing and be alone. Whether it is volunteering somewhere, spending more time
with family, spending more time in prayer and Bible study or taking up a new
hobby, stay active. The great temptation in grief is to withdraw – make the
decision today that you will not do that.
I’m praying and pulling for you.
Bobby
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